top --> banner "\n\n" banner "\n\n" banner "\n\n" banner "\n\n" banner;

banner --> headline "\n -- " newspaper;

newspaper --> "The Sun";
newspaper --> "The National Enquirer";
newspaper --> "Sunday Sport";
newspaper --> "The Times";
newspaper --> "The New York Times";
newspaper --> "Isle of Arran Shoemaker's Monthly";
newspaper --> "Angling Today";
newspaper --> "Pravda";
newspaper --> "Times Literary Supplement";
newspaper --> "Sunday Express";
newspaper --> "Il Giornale";
newspaper --> "El Pais";
newspaper --> "New York Review of Books";
newspaper --> "Time";
newspaper --> "Newsweek";
newspaper --> "Penthouse";

headline --> declaration;
headline --> declaration;
headline --> declaration;
headline --> attributed_declaration;
headline --> attributed_declaration;
headline --> attributed_declaration;
headline --> attributed_declaration;
headline --> male_celebrity " and " female_celebrity " in secret " secret_activity " shock";
headline --> "My " time_period "s of " love_adjective " " love_noun " with " celebrity
			 " by " celebrity;
headline --> celebrity " in " dramatic_activity;
headline --> celebrity " and " celebrity " in " dramatic_activity;
headline --> celebrity " found in possession of " saleable_items;
headline --> celebrity " " association " " dubious_group;
			 
time_period --> "hour";
time_period --> "day";
time_period --> "night";
time_period --> "week";
time_period --> "year";
time_period --> "month";

love_adjective --> "kinky";
love_adjective --> "perverted";
love_adjective --> "wild";
love_adjective --> "teenage";
love_adjective --> "illicit";
love_adjective --> "forbidden";
love_adjective --> "naked";

love_noun --> "passion";
love_noun --> "love";
love_noun --> "sex";
love_noun --> "games";

declaration --> "I was " celebrity "'s " profession;
declaration --> celebrity " " salacious_past_tense_verb " my " body_part;
declaration --> "I saw " celebrity " in " location;
declaration --> "I met " celebrity " in " location;
declaration --> "I was held prisoner with " celebrity " in " location " by " dubious_group;
declaration --> celebrity " sold " saleable_items " to " dubious_group;
declaration --> "I paid " dubious_group " to " aggressive_activity " " celebrity;
declaration --> dubious_group " " aggressive_activitied " my " chattel;

attributed_declaration --> "'" declaration "' " says_word " " celebrity;
attributed_declaration --> "'" declaration "' " says_word " " celebrity;
attributed_declaration --> "'" declaration "' " says_word " " celebrity "'s " profession;
attributed_declaration --> "'" declaration "' " says_word " " ordinary_joe;

secret_activity --> "wedding";
secret_activity --> "love tryst";
secret_activity --> "meetings";

says_word --> "says";
says_word --> "declares";
says_word --> "confesses";
says_word --> "admits";
says_word --> "reveals";
says_word --> "confirms";

celebrity --> male_celebrity;
celebrity --> female_celebrity;

male_celebrity --> "Carlos the Jackal";
male_celebrity --> "Lee Harvey Oswald";
male_celebrity --> "Hannibal Lecter";
male_celebrity --> "The Pope";
male_celebrity --> "Joseph Stalin";
male_celebrity --> "Tip O'Neill";
male_celebrity --> "Bill Clinton";
male_celebrity --> "George Bush";
male_celebrity --> "Ronald Reagan";
male_celebrity --> "Elvis Presley";
male_celebrity --> "Michael Jackson";
male_celebrity --> "Al Gore";
male_celebrity --> "Sylvester Stallone";
male_celebrity --> "Arnold Schwarzenegger";
male_celebrity --> "Mick Jagger";
male_celebrity --> "Silvio Berlusconi";
male_celebrity --> "John Major";
male_celebrity --> "Jacques Delors";
male_celebrity --> "Boutros Boutros Ghali";
male_celebrity --> "The Bishop of Bath & Wells";
male_celebrity --> "Boris Yeltsin";
male_celebrity --> "Terry Waite";
male_celebrity --> "Richard Nixon";

female_celebrity --> "Kylie Minogue";
female_celebrity --> "Margaret Thatcher";
female_celebrity --> "Nancy Reagan";
female_celebrity --> "Hillary Clinton";
female_celebrity --> "Janet Reno";
female_celebrity --> "Sharon Stone";
female_celebrity --> "Madonna";
female_celebrity --> "Sigourney Weaver";
female_celebrity --> "Elle McPherson";
female_celebrity --> "Claudia Schiffer";
female_celebrity --> "Cindy Crawford";
female_celebrity --> "Jane Marsh";
female_celebrity --> "Sandra Bullock";

profession --> "manicurist";
profession --> "driving instructor";
profession --> "chiropodist";
profession --> "sex slave";
profession --> "secret lover";
profession --> "bank manager";
profession --> "psychiatrist";
profession --> "gynaecologist";
profession --> "proctologist";
profession --> "mistress";
profession --> "secretary";
profession --> "schoolteacher";

body_part --> single_body_part;
body_part --> plural_body_part;

salacious_past_tense_verb --> "licked";
salacious_past_tense_verb --> "fondled";
salacious_past_tense_verb --> "caressed";
salacious_past_tense_verb --> "admired";
salacious_past_tense_verb --> "stroked";

single_body_part --> "breast";
single_body_part --> "navel";
single_body_part --> "nipple";
single_body_part --> "thigh";
single_body_part --> "calf";
single_body_part --> "chest";
single_body_part --> "buttock";
single_body_part --> "bum";
single_body_part --> "nose";
single_body_part --> "ear";

plural_body_part --> "breasts";
plural_body_part --> "nipples";
plural_body_part --> "thighs";
plural_body_part --> "calves";
plural_body_part --> "buttocks";
plural_body_part --> "ears";

location --> "flying saucer";
location --> "drug cafe";
location --> "gay club";
location --> "vice den";
location --> city;
location --> celebrity "'s " home_location;

home_location --> "kitchen";
home_location --> "bedroom";
home_location --> "bathroom";
home_location --> "garage";

city --> "Beirut";
city --> "Los Angeles";
city --> "East Mostar";
city --> "Washington D.C.";
city --> "Camden Town";
city --> "Paris";
city --> "Belfast";

dubious_group --> "aliens";
dubious_group --> "space aliens";
dubious_group --> "aliens";
dubious_group --> "Venusians";
dubious_group --> "aliens";
dubious_group --> "Serbian mercenaries";
dubious_group --> "extraterrestrials";
dubious_group --> "IRA terrorists";
dubious_group --> "Islamic fundamentalists";
dubious_group --> "members of the Moral Majority";
dubious_group --> "Freemasons";
dubious_group --> "traffic wardens";
dubious_group --> "Columbian druglords";
dubious_group --> "Nazi windsurfers";
dubious_group --> "Communists";
dubious_group --> "Libyans";
dubious_group --> "anarchists";
dubious_group --> "police";
dubious_group --> "gangsters";
dubious_group --> "computer programmers";
dubious_group --> "UNIX hackers";

saleable_items --> "drugs";
saleable_items --> "rocket launchers";
saleable_items --> "guns";
saleable_items --> "plutonium";
saleable_items --> "nuclear weapons";
saleable_items --> "sex toys";
saleable_items --> "bondage equipment";
saleable_items --> "national secrets";
saleable_items --> "cocaine";
saleable_items --> "heroin";

aggressive_activity --> "kill";
aggressive_activity --> "kidnap";
aggressive_activity --> "molest";
aggressive_activity --> "blow up";
aggressive_activity --> "frame";
aggressive_activity --> "moon";
aggressive_activity --> "seduce";
aggressive_activity --> "marry";

aggressive_activitied --> "killed";
aggressive_activitied --> "kidnapped";
aggressive_activitied --> "set fire to";
aggressive_activitied --> "molested";
aggressive_activitied --> "blew up";
aggressive_activitied --> "seduced";
aggressive_activitied --> "married";
aggressive_activitied --> "raped";
aggressive_activitied --> "attacked";

chattel --> "husband";
chattel --> "wife";
chattel --> "cat";
chattel --> "dog";
chattel --> "TV set";
chattel --> "octopus";
chattel --> "children";
chattel --> "son";
chattel --> "daughter";
chattel --> "video recorder";

association --> "shot dead by";
association --> "kidnapped by";
association --> "sexually assaulted by";
association --> "linked with";
association --> "admits links with";
association --> "attacked by";
association --> "rejected by";

dramatic_activity --> "secret " secret_activity " shock";
dramatic_activity --> "mercy dash";
dramatic_activity --> "race to the Moon";
dramatic_activity --> "hostage drama";
dramatic_activity --> "drugs bust";
dramatic_activity --> "deadly shoot-out";
dramatic_activity --> "new AIDS scandal";

ordinary_joe --> profession;
ordinary_joe --> profession;
ordinary_joe --> city " " profession;
ordinary_joe --> city " " profession;
ordinary_joe --> civil_status " " ordinary_joe;

civil_status --> "gay";
civil_status --> "unemployed";
civil_status --> "disabled";
civil_status --> "lesbian";
civil_status --> "left-wing";
civil_status --> "anarchist";
civil_status --> "teenage";