top --> banner "\n";

banner --> headline "\n -- " newspaper;

newspaper --> "The Sun";
newspaper --> "The National Enquirer";
newspaper --> "Sunday Sport";
newspaper --> "The Times";
newspaper --> "The New York Times";
newspaper --> "Isle of Arran Shoemaker's Monthly";
newspaper --> "Angling Today";
newspaper --> "Pravda";
newspaper --> "Times Literary Supplement";
newspaper --> "Sunday Express";
newspaper --> "Il Giornale";
newspaper --> "El Pais";
newspaper --> "New York Review of Books";
newspaper --> "Time";
newspaper --> "Newsweek";
newspaper --> "Penthouse";
newspaper --> "The Tristan da Cunha Gazette";
newspaper --> "Exchange & Mart";
newspaper --> "Practical Fishkeeping";

headline --> declaration;
headline --> declaration;
headline --> declaration;
headline --> attributed_declaration;
headline --> attributed_declaration;
headline --> attributed_declaration;
headline --> attributed_declaration;
headline --> celebrity " and " celebrity 
			 " in secret " secret_activity " shock";
headline --> "My " time_period "s of " love_adjective " " love_noun 
			 " with " celebrity " by " celebrity;
headline --> celebrity " in " dramatic_activity;
headline --> celebrity " and " celebrity " in " dramatic_activity;
headline --> celebrity " found in possession of " saleable_items;
headline --> celebrity " " association " " dubious_group;
headline --> celebrity " " dramatic_activity_consequence " " dramatic_activity;
headline --> celebrity " and " celebrity " fight for custody of " object_of_desire;
headline --> "'I love my " unsuitable_object_of_affection "' "
			 says_word " " celebrity;

dramatic_activity_consequence --> "left traumatized by";
dramatic_activity_consequence --> "found dead after";
dramatic_activity_consequence --> "rushed to hospital after";
dramatic_activity_consequence --> "hideously mutilated in";
dramatic_activity_consequence --> "faces charges after";
dramatic_activity_consequence --> "fatally wounded in";
dramatic_activity_consequence --> "lightly injured in";
dramatic_activity_consequence --> "arrested after";

time_period --> "hour";
time_period --> "day";
time_period --> "night";
time_period --> "week";
time_period --> "year";
time_period --> "month";

love_adjective --> "kinky";
love_adjective --> "perverted";
love_adjective --> "wild";
love_adjective --> "teenage";
love_adjective --> "illicit";
love_adjective --> "forbidden";
love_adjective --> "naked";

love_noun --> "passion";
love_noun --> "love";
love_noun --> "sex";
love_noun --> "games";

declaration --> "I was " celebrity "'s " profession;
declaration --> celebrity " " salacious_past_tense_verb " my " body_part;
declaration --> person " " birth_verb " " improbable_infant;
declaration --> "I saw " celebrity " in " location;
declaration --> "I met " celebrity " in " location;
declaration --> celebrity " sold " saleable_items " to " dubious_group;
declaration --> "I paid " dubious_group " to " aggressive_activity " " celebrity;
declaration --> dubious_group " " aggressive_activitied " my " chattel;
declaration --> celebrity " " aggressive_activitied " my " chattel;
declaration --> "I married my " chattel;
declaration --> "I killed " celebrity;
declaration --> celebrity " " killed_verb " in " violent_activity;
declaration --> celebrity " is my " relative;
declaration --> celebrity " is " celebrity "'s " relative;
declaration --> "I was held prisoner " optcompanionphrase
				optlocationphrase " by " dubious_group;
declaration --> "I killed " dead_celebrity;
declaration --> dead_celebrity " was murdered by " dubious_group;
declaration --> celebrity " spied for " dubious_country_or_group;
declaration --> celebrity " " implication_phrase " " hostile_noun " of " celebrity;
declaration --> celebrity " to marry " celebrity;
declaration --> celebrity " arrested for possession of " saleable_items;

attributed_declaration --> "'" declaration "' " says_word " " celebrity;
attributed_declaration --> "'" declaration "' " says_word " " celebrity;
attributed_declaration --> "'" declaration "' " says_word " " celebrity "'s " profession;
attributed_declaration --> "'" declaration "' " says_word " " ordinary_joe;

secret_activity --> "wedding";
secret_activity --> "love tryst";
secret_activity --> "meetings";
secret_activity --> "pool party";
secret_activity --> "romp";
secret_activity --> "sex romp";

says_word --> "says";
says_word --> "declares";
says_word --> "confesses";
says_word --> "admits";
says_word --> "reveals";
says_word --> "confirms";
says_word --> "asserts";
says_word --> "alleges";
says_word --> "claims";

celebrity --> male_celebrity;
celebrity --> female_celebrity;

male_celebrity --> "Carlos the Jackal";
male_celebrity --> "Lee Harvey Oswald";
male_celebrity --> "Hannibal Lecter";
male_celebrity --> "The Pope";
male_celebrity --> "Joseph Stalin";
male_celebrity --> "Tip O'Neill";
male_celebrity --> "Bill Clinton";
male_celebrity --> "George Bush";
male_celebrity --> "Ronald Reagan";
male_celebrity --> "Elvis Presley";
male_celebrity --> "Michael Jackson";
male_celebrity --> "Al Gore";
male_celebrity --> "Sylvester Stallone";
male_celebrity --> "Arnold Schwarzenegger";
male_celebrity --> "Mick Jagger";
male_celebrity --> "Saddam Hussein";
male_celebrity --> "Silvio Berlusconi";
male_celebrity --> "John Major";
male_celebrity --> "Jacques Delors";
male_celebrity --> "Boutros Boutros Ghali";
male_celebrity --> "The Bishop of Bath & Wells";
male_celebrity --> "Boris Yeltsin";
male_celebrity --> "Terry Waite";
male_celebrity --> "Richard Nixon";
male_celebrity --> "Louis Farrakhan";
male_celebrity --> "Newt Gingrich";
male_celebrity --> "Rush Limbaugh";
male_celebrity --> "Timothy McVeigh";
male_celebrity --> "O.J. Simpson";
male_celebrity --> "Bob Dole";
male_celebrity --> "Michael Jordan";
male_celebrity --> "Dennis Rodman";
male_celebrity --> "Jay Leno";
male_celebrity --> "Dan Rather";
male_celebrity --> "Jacques Chirac";
male_celebrity --> "Jean-Marie Le Pen";
male_celebrity --> "Salman Rushdie";
male_celebrity --> "Leonardo di Caprio";
male_celebrity --> "Henry Hyde";
male_celebrity --> "Osama bin Laden";

female_celebrity --> "Kylie Minogue";
female_celebrity --> "Margaret Thatcher";
female_celebrity --> "Nancy Reagan";
female_celebrity --> "Hillary Clinton";
female_celebrity --> "Janet Reno";
female_celebrity --> "Sharon Stone";
female_celebrity --> "Madonna";
female_celebrity --> "Sigourney Weaver";
female_celebrity --> "Elle McPherson";
female_celebrity --> "Claudia Schiffer";
female_celebrity --> "Cindy Crawford";
female_celebrity --> "Jane Marsh";
female_celebrity --> "Sandra Bullock";
female_celebrity --> "Princess Stephanie";
female_celebrity --> "Juliette Binoche";
female_celebrity --> "Kristin Scott-Thomas";
female_celebrity --> "Marilyn Monroe";
female_celebrity --> "Naomi Campbell";
female_celebrity --> "Helena Christensen";
female_celebrity --> "Courtney Love";
female_celebrity --> "Tori Amos";
female_celebrity --> "Alanis Morrisette";
female_celebrity --> "Monica Lewinsky";
female_celebrity --> "Paula Jones";
female_celebrity --> "Linda Tripp";

dead_celebrity --> "Princess Diana";
dead_celebrity --> "Elvis Presley";
dead_celebrity --> "Marilyn Monroe";
dead_celebrity --> "Lee Harvey Oswald";
dead_celebrity --> "Sonny Bono";
dead_celebrity --> "John F. Kennedy";
dead_celebrity --> "Marc Bolan";
dead_celebrity --> "James Dean";

profession --> "manicurist";
profession --> "driving instructor";
profession --> "chiropodist";
profession --> "sex slave";
profession --> "secret lover";
profession --> "bank manager";
profession --> "psychiatrist";
profession --> "gynaecologist";
profession --> "proctologist";
profession --> "mistress";
profession --> "secretary";
profession --> "schoolteacher";
profession --> "bodyguard";
profession --> "accountant";
profession --> "ex-" profession;

body_part --> single_body_part;
body_part --> plural_body_part;

salacious_past_tense_verb --> "licked";
salacious_past_tense_verb --> "fondled";
salacious_past_tense_verb --> "caressed";
salacious_past_tense_verb --> "admired";
salacious_past_tense_verb --> "stroked";

single_body_part --> "breast";
single_body_part --> "navel";
single_body_part --> "nipple";
single_body_part --> "thigh";
single_body_part --> "calf";
single_body_part --> "chest";
single_body_part --> "buttock";
single_body_part --> "bum";
single_body_part --> "nose";
single_body_part --> "ear";
single_body_part --> "pancreas";
single_body_part --> "collarbone";

plural_body_part --> "breasts";
plural_body_part --> "nipples";
plural_body_part --> "thighs";
plural_body_part --> "calves";
plural_body_part --> "buttocks";
plural_body_part --> "ears";
plural_body_part --> "kidneys";

optcompanionphrase --> "";
optcompanionphrase --> " with " celebrity " ";

optlocationphrase --> "";
optlocationphrase --> " in " location " ";

location --> "flying saucer";
location --> "drug cafe";
location --> "gay club";
location --> "vice den";
location --> city;
location --> celebrity "'s " home_location;

home_location --> "kitchen";
home_location --> "bedroom";
home_location --> "bathroom";
home_location --> "garage";
home_location --> "swimming pool";

city --> "Beirut";
city --> "Los Angeles";
city --> "East Mostar";
city --> "Washington D.C.";
city --> "Camden Town";
city --> "Paris";
city --> "Belfast";
city --> "Sarajevo";
city --> "Tokyo";

dubious_group --> "aliens";
dubious_group --> "space aliens";
dubious_group --> "aliens";
dubious_group --> "Venusians";
dubious_group --> "aliens";
dubious_group --> "Serbian mercenaries";
dubious_group --> "extraterrestrials";
dubious_group --> "Scientologists";
dubious_group --> "Moonies";
dubious_group --> "IRA terrorists";
dubious_group --> "Islamic fundamentalists";
dubious_group --> "members of the " extremist_group;
dubious_group --> "Freemasons";
dubious_group --> "traffic wardens";
dubious_group --> "Columbian druglords";
dubious_group --> "Nazi windsurfers";
dubious_group --> "Communists";
dubious_group --> "Libyans";
dubious_group --> "Iraqis";
dubious_group --> government_agency " agents";
dubious_group --> "Iranians";
dubious_group --> "Syrians";
dubious_group --> "anarchists";
dubious_group --> "police";
dubious_group --> "gangsters";
dubious_group --> "rappers";
dubious_group --> "computer programmers";
dubious_group --> "UNIX hackers";
dubious_group --> "UFO cult";
dubious_group --> "The Spice Girls";
dubious_group --> extremist_group;
dubious_group --> government_agency;

dubious_country_or_group --> dubious_country;
dubious_country_or_group --> dubious_group;

dubious_country --> "Russia";
dubious_country --> "Azerbaijan";
dubious_country --> "the Isle of Man";
dubious_country --> "China";
dubious_country --> "Iceland";
dubious_country --> "Wales";
dubious_country --> "Baluchistan";
dubious_country --> "Peru";

extremist_group --> "Michigan Militia";
extremist_group --> "Provisional IRA";
extremist_group --> "Moral Majority";
extremist_group --> "Heaven's Gate cult";
extremist_group --> "Order of the Solar Temple";
extremist_group --> "Branch Davidians";
extremist_group --> "Mafia";

government_agency --> "IRS";
government_agency --> "FBI";
government_agency --> "BATF";
government_agency --> "CIA";
government_agency --> "NSA";
government_agency --> "Secret Service";

saleable_items --> "drugs";
saleable_items --> "rocket launchers";
saleable_items --> "guns";
saleable_items --> "plutonium";
saleable_items --> "nuclear weapons";
saleable_items --> "sex toys";
saleable_items --> "bondage equipment";
saleable_items --> "national secrets";
saleable_items --> "nuclear know-how";
saleable_items --> "cocaine";
saleable_items --> "heroin";

aggressive_activity --> "kill";
aggressive_activity --> "kidnap";
aggressive_activity --> "molest";
aggressive_activity --> "blow up";
aggressive_activity --> "frame";
aggressive_activity --> "moon";
aggressive_activity --> "seduce";
aggressive_activity --> "marry";
aggressive_activity --> "abduct";

aggressive_activitied --> "abducted";
aggressive_activitied --> "killed";
aggressive_activitied --> "kidnapped";
aggressive_activitied --> "set fire to";
aggressive_activitied --> "molested";
aggressive_activitied --> "blew up";
aggressive_activitied --> "seduced";
aggressive_activitied --> "married";
aggressive_activitied --> "raped";
aggressive_activitied --> "attacked";
aggressive_activitied --> "stole";

chattel --> relative;
chattel --> pet_animal;
chattel --> consumer_durable;

pet_animal --> "cat";
pet_animal --> "dog";
pet_animal --> "octopus";
pet_animal --> "aardvark";
pet_animal --> "lemur";
pet_animal --> "okapi";
pet_animal --> "trout";
pet_animal --> "budgerigar";
pet_animal --> "gila monster";

partner --> "husband";
partner --> "wife";
child --> "son";
child --> "daughter";
parent --> "father";
parent --> "mother";
sibling --> "sister";
sibling --> "brother";
distant_relative --> "uncle";
distant_relative --> "aunt";
distant_relative --> "cousin";
child --> "stepson";
child --> "stepdaughter";
child --> "niece";
child --> "nephew";
child --> "children";
child --> "grandchildren";
grandparent --> "grandfather";
grandparent --> "grandmother";

relative --> grandparent;
relative --> child;
relative --> sibling;
relative --> parent;
relative --> partner;
relative --> distant_relative;

association --> "shot dead by";
association --> "kidnapped by";
association --> "sexually assaulted by";
association --> "linked with";
association --> "admits links with";
association --> "denies links with";
association --> "attacked by";
association --> "rejected by";
association --> "beaten to death by";
association --> "tortured to death by";

dramatic_activity --> violent_activity;
dramatic_activity --> spectacular_activity;

spectacular_activity --> "secret " secret_activity " shock";
spectacular_activity --> "mercy dash";
spectacular_activity --> "race to the Moon";
spectacular_activity --> "new AIDS scandal";
spectacular_activity --> "plot to " aggressive_activity " " person;
spectacular_activity --> "bid to break land speed record";

violent_activity --> "suicide pact";
violent_activity --> destructive_circumstance " horror";
violent_activity --> gunfight;
violent_activity --> gunfight " with " gunfight_opposition;
violent_activity --> "hostage drama";
violent_activity --> "drugs bust";
violent_activity --> "bank heist";

destructive_circumstance --> "fireball";
destructive_circumstance --> "chainsaw rampage";
destructive_circumstance --> pet_animal " attack";
destructive_circumstance --> "Satanic abuse";

gunfight --> "gunfight";
gunfight --> "deadly shoot-out";
gunfight --> "firefight";

gunfight_opposition --> dubious_group;
gunfight_opposition --> celebrity;
gunfight_opposition --> ordinary_joe;

killed_verb --> "slain";
killed_verb --> "dies";
killed_verb --> "killed";
killed_verb --> "blown to pieces";
killed_verb --> "injured";
killed_verb --> "mortally wounded";
killed_verb --> "fatally hurt";

person --> celebrity;
person --> ordinary_joe;

ordinary_joe --> profession;
ordinary_joe --> profession;
ordinary_joe --> profession;
ordinary_joe --> profession;
ordinary_joe --> profession;
ordinary_joe --> profession;
ordinary_joe --> city " " profession;
ordinary_joe --> city " " profession;
ordinary_joe --> city " " profession;
ordinary_joe --> civil_status " " ordinary_joe;
ordinary_joe --> state_of_mind " " ordinary_joe;

civil_status --> "gay";
civil_status --> "unemployed";
civil_status --> "disabled";
civil_status --> "lesbian";
civil_status --> "left-wing";
civil_status --> "anarchist";
civil_status --> "teenage";
civil_status --> "underaged";

state_of_mind --> "horrified";
state_of_mind --> "terrified";
state_of_mind --> "frightened";

birth_verb --> "has";
birth_verb --> "to give birth to";
birth_verb --> "gives birth to";

improbable_infant --> multiple_birth;
improbable_infant --> "a " pet_animal;
improbable_infant --> celebrity "'s lovechild";
improbable_infant --> "a 450lb mountain gorilla";
improbable_infant --> "a " consumer_durable;

multiple_birth --> "twins";
multiple_birth --> "triplets";
multiple_birth --> "quadruplets";
multiple_birth --> "quintuplets";
multiple_birth --> "sextuplets";
multiple_birth --> "septuplets";
multiple_birth --> "octuplets";
multiple_birth --> "kittens";
multiple_birth --> "puppies";

consumer_durable --> "microwave oven";
consumer_durable --> "television";
consumer_durable --> "traction engine";
consumer_durable --> "video recorder";
consumer_durable --> "vibrator";
consumer_durable --> "refrigerator";

implication_phrase --> "implicated in";
implication_phrase --> "confesses to";
implication_phrase --> "admits to";
implication_phrase --> "suspected of";
implication_phrase --> "accused of";
implication_phrase --> "denies involvement in";
implication_phrase --> "denies knowledge of";

hostile_noun --> "killing";
hostile_noun --> "murder";
hostile_noun --> "abduction";
hostile_noun --> "torture";
hostile_noun --> "kidnapping";
hostile_noun --> "defenestration";
hostile_noun --> "public humiliation";

object_of_desire --> improbable_infant;
object_of_desire --> celebrity;
object_of_desire --> child;
object_of_desire --> celebrity "'s " child;
object_of_desire --> celebrity "'s " chattel;
object_of_desire --> celebrity "'s " body_part;

unsuitable_object_of_affection --> civil_status " " relative;
unsuitable_object_of_affection --> pet_animal;
unsuitable_object_of_affection --> consumer_durable;
unsuitable_object_of_affection --> body_part;